January 20, 2010


Oh, I do so cherish those I can be real with. I delight in the ability to say, "You know, I actually haven't thought of you at all," without provoking offense. Thank you for that.

Nothing piqued me more than B's creation of this alternate personality for me. I do not take offense easily. I do not fly into jealous fits of rage. I do not do things to intentionally piss anyone off, and then pretend the action was innocent. I do not manipulate people. I do not send snide text messages. The creature B thinks I am does these things.

The actual me aims to be brutally honest. I ask for what I want. I tuck unwarranted jealousy away, and do not act on minor outbursts of anger. How could my character be so grievously mistaken? Very little of what I say has hidden meaning. I do not understand. Perhaps an over-reliance on introspection leads B to believe my character bears similarity to the antics she displays?

Because I am female, people assume I will exhibit specific behaviors. Men assume I will fall in immediate postcoital love. Women assume I am casting a jealous eye toward any female person they speak to. No one believes I visit gay clubs without underlying reasons (relating to spying on exes, of course.) How droll.

Is it unbelievable that I would dare, as a woman, to approach a man? Is it implausible that I could enjoy sex for sex's sake? Is it crazy to think that I am a reasonable human being, merely because I'm female? JFC.

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