April 6, 2008

I've received a complaint or "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

To whom it may concern:

I have received a complaint. A certain friend of mine believes that my answer to the question below, on a recently completed survey, is inappropriate and gives the reader "the wrong idea."

"18: Who was the last person you saw with their shirt off?
Jenny. Nice tata’s love"

I would like to clarify. Jenny and I used to date, yes. Jenny and I are still roommates, yes. However, we do not sleep together or even have the desire to do so. We are close friends. We are comfortable being close to each other, although in a purely platonic way. Some people find this odd. We do not.

I feel that the necessary parties (Me, Jenny, my boyfriend, and Jenny’s girlfriend) are aware of the platonic relationship we share. That is good enough for me. Also, The instance when I saw Jenny without her shirt was merely when I happened to glimpse Jenny in her sleeping attire...a sports bra and pajama pants. This is no cause for alarm, as most bathing suits cover far less skin. Also, I did not actually look at her breasts.

To cover myself more completely, I am not entirely sure why the maker of the complaint was offended. It may be because I refered to Jenny’s breasts as "tatas." The next time I refer to her breasts, I will make sure to employ a different word, such as "knockers," "melons," "dirty pillows," "tig old bitties," "gedoinkers," and/or "bahama mammas."

Thank you,

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