February 19, 2010

Reiteration

I refuse to hide who I am. See me.

I play the coquette in crowded rooms. While attending the New Year's Eve party, I yearned for a like-minded person. I shot shielded glances, smiled sly smiles, I watched pursed lips, I watched eyes follow me. No takers. Are we all just so painfully shy? I want someone a little more fearless.

I want to be a little more fearless myself. Fearlessness in women tends to offend people. I love that. I'm still trying to break out of the old mold. I'm trying to offer myself up for all life experience. I'm trying to be as many people as I can before the fear of my own mortality takes me.

In every room, I look. Where are you, precious one? Just one, somewhere, who burns.

What do you look for in a man? What do you look for in a woman? They all ask it.

The laundry list begins: intelligent, witty, kind, tall, dark, handsome, funny, dedicated, responsible, muscular, musical, talented, adventurous, family oriented, reliable, open-minded. Blah. These are all the same words you'll hear from anyone. What does it mean to be dedicated? What qualifies one as intelligent?

No. That is not how I play. Give me someone who burns. The rest doesn't matter.

1 comment:

  1. As your writing so often does...this one speaks to me.

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